A mother who suffered the heartbreak of losing seven babies in seven years has shared her story of resilience and hope, offering solace to others who have experienced similar tragedies.
Carmen Grover, a 33-year-old registered nurse from Ontario, faced a devastating pregnancy loss before welcoming her four surviving children.
Her first son, Case, was born in December 2017, followed by daughter Maelie in April 2019. However, these joys were interspersed with deep sorrow. Among the casualties was baby Jude, born in August 2020 and so small that doll clothes fit him perfectly.
Despite their repeated heartbreak, Carmen and her husband Phillip, a 34-year-old HVAC mechanic, persisted.
Doctors were unable to explain the couple’s continued loss.
Carmen faced her seventh loss following the birth of their third child, daughter Ayda, in July 2021, but her determination remained unwavering. She resolved to “try one more time,” a decision that resulted in the birth of Charlotte in February 2024.
To deal with her emotional turmoil, Carmen wrote heartfelt letters to each of the babies she lost between January 2016 and January 2023.
These heartfelt letters have now been collected into a book, providing a beacon of hope and comfort to others facing the storm of pregnancy loss.
“Ours is a story of hope,” she stated.
“I lost faith numerous times, but there was always something that held me together and determined.
“Truthfully, I don’t think I ever lost hope, my hope just shifted, and when my babies would die, I would think, ‘I hope to see them again, I hope to leave a legacy for them’.”
She gave birth to their “miracle” daughter, Ayda, in July 2021, but suffered her seventh loss in January 2023.
At this point, she stated, “That was the moment when I was like, ‘What is the purpose of all this?'”
“It all came to a head, and I thought, ‘How do I help my friends and family understand our story?'”
Carmen compiled the letters she had written to each baby and published her first book, A Diary for My Babies: Journeying Through Pregnancy Loss, in February 2023 to “honour” them.
Carmen claims doctors have never been able to explain why she has suffered so many losses, so she wonders, “Why me? “What did I do wrong to deserve this?”
However, she stated that her baby losses taught her that she was “meant to be a voice” so that others “don’t suffer in silence” or feel alone in their losses, and that she considers herself extremely fortunate to now have four children.
“None of us have a crystal ball, and if I knew that this was the life I was going to have, I still would have done all of this,” she told me.
“But if Case hadn’t survived, I don’t know that I would have tried again and that’s a really hard thing to say because that would have meant no children, and I have four living children now.”
Carmen understands that there are different perspectives on pregnancy and loss, but she hopes her story will help others and spark a “ripple effect” of conversation and hope.
She went on to say, “Throughout our lives, the rainbow appears in unexpected ways.
“That’s what a rainbow is.” It provides comfort in the midst of a storm.
“Today, our seven losses form the seven colours of the rainbow arched over our family, holding us.”
